you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
