So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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