just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
