U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
