I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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