Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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