considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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