just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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