So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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