She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize