You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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