filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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