is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
