Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
