Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize