Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize