He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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