I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize