drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
