I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
