4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
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He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
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we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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