Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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