hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
