Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Mom said you looked used
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
