I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so explain again why im purple
no
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
