I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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