Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
