I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize