He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
