Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
