Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
