I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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