well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
this boner is exhausting
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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