I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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