i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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