Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
