I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
