she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
