We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
