i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
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He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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