It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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