I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
