Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have surprise drugs for everyone
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
you never un-have a 4some
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
