And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize