No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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