So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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