if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
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Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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