life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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