she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
True strength comes from lack of pants
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
