the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
