We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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