Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
