My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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