I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am available for nakedness
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
