I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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