Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
