I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
