i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
