oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
