then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
