We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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